Quote: Commentary

''There are, in fact, men and women who have a strong and immediate sexual attraction to each other, often inexplicable, but sometimes instantly known to both of them.... I am convinced that the presence of such feelings, or the lack of them, is totally beyond the control of people, and equally beyond their understanding--something which should, by itself, be enough to exhibit the foolishness of those who want to condemn them.... There is no comprehending why a given man or woman is swept up in a tide of sexual passion for just one particular person, and quite unable to muster such feelings for another with whom he or she might be genuinely and deeply in love, who is recognized as a better person in all ways''
--Richard Taylor, Having Love Affairs. Buffalo, Prometheus Books, 1982

I can attest to this one, as I’ve had this to happen countless times. It’s kind of like an immediate subconscious “recognition” when the chemistry is correct. And it’s an extremely intense, urgent feeling that’s rather hard to describe, though it’s unmistakable when it happens.

I’m guessing that it’s at a very basic hormonal level. And perhaps this is the reason why I’ve only been rarely turned down, as if I don’t have this jolt of “recognition”, I don’t pursue the woman. I have an uncanny radar that draws me to those with high libidos and those of a similar libertine bent.

And I’ve also had the experience of being unable to generate any sexual desire for some people that I might respect, be compatible with in many ways, and genuinely love on some level. A few times, I’ve ignored my lack of arousal and gone ahead and had sex with such women anyway, but it never works. I’ve learned that such people are only meant to be platonic friends.