Everyone has commercials they love to hate. Recently, I’ve been hearing a commercial on the radio that I get a kick out of. It’s absurd and it’s corny, which is probably why I like it.
The commercial is for Charmin’s new Mega Roll toilet paper, which, the jingle assures you, comes with enough on each roll for “every bear in the woods” and that “happy cheeks are what it’s all about”.
The fundamentalist outrage over the new adult novelty store in my town continues on. They’ve formed a task force to stamp out other sexually oriented businesses outside city limits as well.
The city council, bowing to pressure, has put a moratorium on granting business licenses to any other adult businesses until they can amend the current law. The proposed amendment would limit such businesses to industrial areas, banning them from close proximity to churches and schools. Any existing businesses operating after such an ordinance passed would be considered nonconforming and given a year to relocate to an approved area.
The other night, a heavy thunderstorm passed through my area. My big, badass tomcat jumped up and hid under the bed until it was all over. The female cat, asleep in the window, didn’t move a muscle.
The female cat loves French fries and goes into ecstasy every time she sees a McDonald’s bag. The male is indifferent to them, but perks up when he sees a bag of Doritos.
There’s a local take out restaurant that asks for your first name when you place an order, in order to call you when the food is ready. This practice instinctively repels me, as I have no interest in pretending a faux friendship, when all they’re interested in is your money. I’m satisfied with the old system of numbers, thank you very much.
Consultant: Someone you go to for advice
Insultant: Someone you go to for abuse