Just When You Think You've Heard Everything

In police work, just when you think you’ve heard it all, something always happens to remind you that you haven’t.

Not long after I’d joined the force, I was assigned to work the desk one evening. Not much was happening that night, so I was sitting there reading a magazine, when a worried looking couple in their 30s came in.

Looking around nervously to make sure no one was listening, they came up to me and asked if they could talk with me privately. After I asked them what the problem was, they explained that they were dating and were planning to take a trip to Hawaii. They were worried whether they would be arrested for fornication if they checked into a motel together and shared a room, especially if the room was bugged.

It took every bit of self control I could muster to keep from laughing my ass off in front of them. At first, I thought this was some kind of practical joke that another officer might have arranged to pull on me, but I soon realized that they were dead serious. It dawned on me that they had to be a little “off” to have even come down to the police station to ask such a ridiculous question.

Resisting an urge to tell them that I'd have to be locked up forever if such a thing were possible and that more jails would have to be built to hold all the people who would be joining me, I told them to forget about it and to enjoy their trip. They thanked me and left, still not quite convinced.

Once I was sure they’d left the building, I gave in to my urge to laugh, knowing that my fellow officers wouldn’t believe me when I told them about this couple.

Police work is serious business, many times touched by tragedy. But just as often, it is a job involving humor as well. We hear so much of the tragic events; I thought I’d share an absurd one and give my readers a chuckle.