Petty Aggravations

When I was on the police force, many of the typical annoyances that came with dealing with people of varying attention spans and intelligence levels came when working the desk, particularly with phone calls.

A common occurrence would be for someone to call to inquire if a friend or relative was in jail:

Caller: Do you have Suchandso in jail?
Me: (Checks list) Yes, we do.
Caller: What’s he in for?
Me: (Reads charge(s) out loud)
Caller: How do I get him out?
Me: (Explains procedure)
Caller: Can I talk to someone else?
Me: Yes, you can, but one of two things will happen. They will either switch you right back to me or they will tell you what I just said!

This would annoy the hell out of me -- just because I didn’t tell them what they wanted to hear didn’t mean I didn’t know what I was talking about!

Another common scenario would be for every shirttail relative and passing acquaintance that the inmate had to call the booking desk and ask the same questions over and over: Is he there, what’s he in for, how do I get him out, etc. The typical pattern would be to have these calls come in rapid succession over a very short period of time. I would hang up from one call and before I could even remove my hand from the phone, it would be ringing again.

It became obvious that the calls were all coming from the same place, as I would hear the same background noises: TV, radio, voices, etc each time they’d call. However, each new caller would not build on the information that I’d given the previous caller to ask more questions; they’d ask the same basic ones over and over, simply to tie up the lines and waste my time. One day, I’d been barraged by around 25 of these calls and I eventually lost my temper. Exasperated, I said to the latest caller, “Why don’t you just ask the guy sitting right next to you? I just told him the information less than a minute ago!

Not all aggravations came over the phone, of course. One time I was working the front desk on first shift. A UPS guy carrying a large package came over to me, letting the package fall to the desk with a big thump.

Looking at his clip board, he said, “I have a package here for Joe Blow”. I told him we didn’t have anyone by that name working here. He pointed to the address on the package and said that it matched our address.

I said it was the right address, but there wasn’t anyone here named Joe Blow. He pushed the package closer to me and said, “But it says……!”

And then, “Is there anyone here that would know?”

That did it. I hadn’t been angry up until this point, but that set me off.

“I didn’t say that I didn’t know," I said. “Joe Blow does not work here! What part of that didn't you understand? I’ve been working here for six years and if Joe Blow worked here, I think I would have caught on by now!” I then turned away from him and returned to my work, effectively dismissing him.

He stood there slack jawed for a few more moments, then finally got the idea, picked up the package, and left.

Nothing like cop shows on TV, eh?