Villain or Saint?

During the recent Terri Schiavo debacle, the media played up, ad nauseum, the angle of Michael Schiavo as villain, in an attempt to discredit his position in the matter. The unstated assumption was that he could not possibly have cared about Terri, nor had her best interests in mind if he was not totally selfless.

One point in particular that was stressed was the fact that he moved on with his life with a new marriage, in fact if not in law, and started a family. In my mind, it would take someone of saintly proportions to put their lives on hold for fifteen years -- or however many years it would have been -- and exist in celibate martyrdom. I don't know anyone who could have done that for that length of time.

And for what? What earthly benefit would it have been to Terri for him to have been a martyr? Facing the reality that Terri wasn't going to get better and going on with his life did not preclude him from continuing to care about what happened to Terri and her ultimate fate.

On June fifth of last year, I made an entry, In Sickness and In Health, that addressed the dilemma faced by a healthy person married to someone permanently disabled in regards to their sexual needs. In Michael Schiavo's case, this dilemma was further exacerbated by the fact that his marriage died in every way in 1990; sexually, emotionally, mentally, and so on. Him moving on with his life would not have hurt Terri, as she was beyond knowing or caring.

Some would ask why didn't he divorce her. I think the answer is that he knew Terri wouldn't have wanted to live that way and the only way he could act to carry out her wishes was to remain married to her, as he knew her parents wanted her to live, regardless of her condition. It certainly would have been easier for him to have divorced her, washed his hands of the entire situation, and abandoned her to the hell of being trapped for many more years in a useless, ruined body and mind.

That's not to say I think Michael Schiavo is a great guy all around. He's not. I think the way he's treated the Schindlers recently, by not allowing family members in the room as Terri passed on, and insisting upon cremating her, instead of graciously allowing the Schindlers to give her a traditional burial is shitty and petty on his part.

But we only know what the media is telling us, and as a former law enforcement officer, I know that we're only getting the tip of the iceberg with the news coverage of this case. I'm sure there's a lot more to it than what we're reading.

In the end, Michael Schiavo is neither a villain nor a saint. He's just an imperfect human being, like the rest of us, who did what he thought was right.

I hope that in the days ahead, both he and the Schindlers can come to a peaceful closure and get on with their lives.