25 Years Ago Today

Twenty-five years ago today, I became a parent. At the time, I'd never have dreamed that I'd be soon raising this child alone to adulthood. Knowing what my likely reaction would have been if I'd have known, I suppose it's best that one cannot predict the future.

My father and I spent hours sitting with the ex as she suffered in the labor room. She was given an epidural that apparently did nothing for the pain, as she spend the long hours waiting writhing and moaning in agony. She asked to be put under general anesthesia, considering that her mother had had it back in the 1950s when she was born, and it had turned out just fine. But the doctor refused, as "natural" childbirth was the big thing back in the early 80s. This one always baffled me -- why would anyone consider "natural" childbirth any more than they'd consider "natural" dentistry. To me pain has always equaled bad and is something best avoided, if at all possible.

When she was finally wheeled into the delivery room, I went into the waiting room. Many fathers then went into the delivery room to witness the births of their children, but neither she nor I were particularly keen on that idea, especially considering it was to be an emergency caesarian birth. I was satisfied to remain in the waiting room until it was all over.

There was an intercom in the waiting room, so I was able to listen to the progress of the delivery. As soon as the baby was born, I asked if it was a boy or a girl. The technology to determine gender before birth was available then, but such tests were not done routinely for that specific purpose then, but only when it was suspected there might be something wrong with the baby.

After I'd seen my son, I went in to see her in the recovery room. As soon as I was satisfied that she was OK, and would be soon taken to her room to sleep, I went home to catch a few hours myself.

She ended up spending five days in the hospital, which was standard for caesarian births at the time, spending most of the time resting up for the ordeal of caring for an infant soon to come. She chose to bottle feed, so that I could share in the feeding duties, a decision that was met by frank disapproval by the hospital staff, as breast feeding, along with "natural" childbirth was heavily promoted at the time.

The entire bill was three thousand dollars, which was completely covered by our insurance, compared to the seventy five dollars a ten day hospital stay cost in 1945 when my brother was born. I can't imagine what the cost is now.

Damn, twenty-five years have certainly gone by in a hurry.