Feet

At worst, I think feet are ugly; comical looking at best. I've heard of some men with foot fetishes, who get off on women's feet and shoes, but I just can't see it. Feet are a utilitarian body part, not a sexual one. I don't even like giving foot rubs, let alone involving them in my sex life.

Women in high heels don't do a thing for me; all I can think of is how foolish they are to balance their weight on a tiny square of wood, how much their feet hurt, and how having one's feet cramped into a pointy little box on stilts make women's feet even uglier after years of wearing them, with hammer toes, corns, calluses, and bunions.

I'm rather fussy about my own feet. Shoes have to be comfortable, or they don't go on my feet. I don't wear nylon dress socks because they don't let my feet breathe and make my feet feel nasty. I wear only black socks because:

Black socks, they never get dirty
The longer you wear them, the blacker they get
Sometimes, I think of the laundry
But sometimes inside me says
No, not just yet.

(Just kidding). I wear black socks because I hate white clothing of any kind and black socks go with black shoes.

I went barefoot all the time as a kid. I ran around outside all day with no shoes, even climbed trees that way. I marvel now that it never bothered me to cross the asphalted street during the summer -- kids have tough little feet, I guess.

As an adult, I rarely, if ever, go barefoot, especially outside. I remember one time as a young adult, running after my son in the yard and I ran into a pipe sticking out of the ground, breaking my first toe after the big one. About a year later, I opened the refrigerator door and a jar of pickles fell on the other foot, breaking the big toe. In both cases, I didn't go to the doctor, but simple favored my weight on my heel until it healed.

Two years ago, on my birthday, I went outside barefoot to get the mail, too lazy to put my shoes on. Big mistake. I ended up stepping on a rusty tack, which went all the way into my heel. I pried it out, but had to go to the health department for a tetanus shot.

So, I've usually got my shoes or slippers on. Safer that way.

Let's hear your foot stories.