Age and Relationships

Yesterday, I had a new visitor, LynnM, who commented on my post. As is my habit when I have a new visitor, I went and visited her two blogs. While there, I read an interesting post about age differences in relationships, with her mentioning that she'd almost passed on a relationship with the man she is seeing because of the gap in their ages. I left her a comment and decided to expand upon my thoughts in my entry today.

In heterosexual relationships, the typical age pattern is for those involved to be close to the same age, with the man usually being slightly older, perhaps by two or three years. My parents, both born the same year, and my grandparents, with one set born the same year and the other having only a two year difference, followed this pattern.

However, my family also has had several age-dissimilar matches. One great grandfather was married twice, once to a woman close to his own age and, after she died, to a woman twenty years his junior. Usually, when we see such matches, it is older man/younger woman. However, my family also has a few examples of the reverse match.

One aunt was divorced with four young children when she married a man eleven years younger. They went on to have two of their own and they stayed married for thirty years. They eventually divorced, but their age discrepancy was not a factor in their breakup.

Another aunt, after raising a family with a man close to her own age, married a man eighteen years her junior after a long courtship. Their relationship works, mainly because she has a young attitude and outlook on life, though her appearance is congruent with her age.

As for me, perhaps the dynamic is different because I am not monogamous and do not share my home with any of my lovers. Over the years, I've been with women of all ages. When I was in my 20s, most of my lovers were close to my own age, but I had quite a few that were older, the oldest being 51 to my 26.

As I've gotten older that has shifted to where most of my lovers are about ten years younger, but I've had several even younger yet. My current primary lover is a year younger than my son, but it works out well. She's independent, open minded, and intelligent, which is a good combination for me. Her parents don't like it, and I've heard snarky comments from others about me being a horny old bastard preying upon an innocent young thing, ad nauseum, but we're both adults and neither of us gives a rat's ass what other people think.

Younger people tend to be more open-minded about nonmonogamy, among other things, and are willing to try something different. Older lovers, however, tend to be more experienced and are not tied down with small children. And, of course, when being with someone my own age, there is that shared understanding of things from the perspective of the same generation.

Women of different ages all have something different to offer, and by not limiting myself to one lover, I get to experience it all.

As far as I'm concerned, if two lovers are both consenting adults and the relationship makes them happy, then they should go for it. It doesn't matter what other people think of it.

Thoughts?