Clueless

Have you ever known someone so assertive as to the point of nerviness, either in your personal or professional life? Someone who doesn't know that there's the proper place and time for everything or, if they have an idea, are totally unable to distinguish when those times and places are?

I could give many examples of this in my own experience, but one incident in particular comes to mind. When I was on the police force, one of my fellow officers was kind of ditzy, living in his own little world. I don't know ditzy is just the word to describe him, but if men can be ditzy, this guy was definitely it.

There was the one time he was driving at a normal speed through an empty shopping center parking lot, yet managed to hit a light pole. Another time, he spilled coffee on his training officer in a very sensitive spot. And then was the time he unknowingly led the shift lieutenant to the "hidey-hole", the remote spot where officers parked on third shift to catch forty winks.

But one incident in particular involving this officer stands out in my mind.

When a city employee wanted time off from work, the policy was that we had to submit it in writing to our department head; in our case, the shift lieutenant. One day, this guy had filled out the requisition form to get two days off the following week. He went to the Lt's office to hand it in, but the door was locked. After being informed that the Lt had gone to use the men's room, he went in there, where he found the Lt in one of the stalls, in the middle of taking a power dump.

Anyone else would have exited the rest room and waited outside, allowing the Lt to finish his business in private. Not this guy. He marched right up to the stall door and bellowed, "Is that you in there, M---?" Not waiting for a reply, he shoved the requisition form under the stall door.

I think the Lt was tempted to wipe his ass with the form and hand it back to him, but he confined himself to telling the clueless officer to get the hell out of there.

I'd be curious to hear some stories in this vein from my readers.