Sit! Heel! Stay!

Most of my readers know that I had sole custody of my son from the time he was a baby. For most of my son's childhood, I relied heavily on my father's advice and assistance in raising him.

As most parents do with their babies, I put him in a stroller when we went to the mall and other public places. This worked well before he learned to walk.

Once he was able to walk more than a few steps without falling down, this became a less than ideal situation, as he no longer wanted anything to do with his stroller. He'd twist and writhe, making whiny sounds whenever I'd stop the stroller for more than 2 seconds.

However, I'd seen kids his age walking with their parents in public places and it didn't look like much of an improvement. For one thing, it was necessary to be always holding the child's hand, lest they become separated from you in a crowd of people, or worse; someone snatching them. And in every case I saw, both child and parent looked miserable. The kid would be constantly trying to twist away, pull their parent in various directions, and engage in general frustrated whininess. And the parent looked miserable, having only one hand free, the other attached to the sweaty hand of unhappy toddlerhood.

But I could totally understand the kids' frustrations: Would you want to spend extended periods of time walking around with one arm raised up into the air being pulled along by a huge sweaty hand? I think not.

Finally, my father came up with a solution. One day he came home with a harness he'd bought at a children's clothing store. This was a couple of strips of strong cloth that went over the shoulders and around the chest, with a lead attached to it from the middle of the back. In this way, the child's arm and hands were free and they had a limted radius of movement that kept them near their parent's side. Having only to hold onto the end of the looped lead also gave the parent more range of movement with that hand as well.

I immediately started using it with my son and we both were happier with this solution. In fact, when he wanted to go out, he'd go get his harness to give me a hint to his intentions.

But I did have to deal with the disapproving stares and comments of strangers in public, who likened the harness to a dog's leash. I had one old woman tell me if I wanted a dog, then I should get one instead of having had a child. I gave her a stony glare and said, "Better this than him getting run over by a car or kidnapped by a stranger".

My father handled such comments differently. When another meddling mother make a similar comment to him, he just smiled at her and said, "Want to see me make him heel?" She gave him a "Well! I never!" look and walked off indignantly. I'm smiling now as I remember my father laughing as he told me about it.

Did any of you use a harness with your kids when they were toddlers and, if so, what kinds of reactions did you get?