Weather Rant

It's here. And it's three months early. Over the last two weeks, the many signs of its impending arrival have become increasingly more obvious and harder to ignore. The grass is growing, the lawn mowers are rumbling, the trees are blooming, the pollen is polluting, the birds are shitting, the crickets are chirping, the coats are disappearing to be replaced by shorts, the temperatures are rising, the sweat is trickling and stinking, and so on. The only things that have yet to return are the bugs.

Yes, that's right. Summer is here in all its cloying glory. The winters are always mild in this part of the country, nor do they last very long. And this winter has been milder than most -- summer hung on here well into December, and it's already back again. We really don't have a spring here; it seems to go directly from winter into summer. It's been in the high sixties to mid seventies during the day for the last two weeks or so, which would be great weather for June, but I don't want summer in March. And it's supposed to hit 80 tomorrow. Ugh.

I can tell which of my coworkers are summer lovers -- they are the first ones to start wearing shorts again, as soon as the temps rise above 55 degrees, and they are the diehards who wear them the longest in the fall. I'm just the opposite. I hate wearing shorts, as they seem little kid-ish, and I put off wearing them until the sweat is collecting on my kneecaps. I'm about at the point now where a short sleeve t-shirt with jeans is comfortable.

And then there are those with thin blood. I was out today and saw a woman with her kids, all bundled up in thick ski jackets, despite it being 70 degrees. I wanted to pass out with heat stroke just looking at them. Similarly, I've delivered to people in the last two weeks who have portable kerosene heaters going in their houses, despite it being about 65 degrees at the time. Each time, I could almost see the heat rolling out the door as they opened it, with the temperature almost knocking me down. Even if it was ten degrees outside, I'd not heat my house as hot as these people had their homes. I just shake my head, knowing these people would never make it if they lived up north.

It seems as if summer is a "stronger" season than winter in temperate climates. We've all heard of unseasonably warm days in December and January -- 80 degrees on Christmas Day, for example. But you never hear of it snowing in July or simply being 30 degrees on the Fourth of July. Summer is always slow to leave in the fall and quick to reappear again in the spring. Seems like Murphy's Law to me.

I liked summer as a kid. But I'm sure it's because I didn't have to go to school and because I lived up north where there was a real winter and where summer was shorter and less intense. I could even tolerate it now better, even down south, if I could have a three month vacation from working.

Thoughts?