Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Living in Denial

Yesterday, while reading the book, "Lust in Translation", I came upon a reference to a group called "Covenant Keepers". This Christian group is extremely anti-divorce, believing that it is only permissible in the cases of adultery or when an unbelieving spouse deserts the marriage. I find it quite telling that physical abuse -- just so long as the abuser isn't getting any on the side and isn't an atheist -- is not considered valid grounds for divorce.

They also counsel the spouse whose spouse divorces them anyway, without so-called "biblical grounds", to continue to "honor their vows", despite being divorced. That is, they should not remarry or have sex ever again, but to remain "faithful" to a spouse who has divorced them, even if that spouse has remarried. They are further urged to pray for that spouse to return to them, again, even when the spouse has remarried and gone on with their lives.

You might wonder if anyone could actually follow such ludicrous advice, ignoring reality to make needless martyrs of themselves. I actually knew of a woman who has done so. Several years ago I worked with a woman who was a fundamentalist Christian. In conversations with her, she told me that her mother "lived" this way. Even though my coworker was a fundamentalist, even she saw the utter futility of her mother throwing her life away over a relationship that would never be rekindled, as her father had indeed remarried and gone on with his life. She'd tried to introduce her Mom to single Christian men from the church, but her mother would have none of it, insisting that she was a "married woman" and that dating one of these men would be "adultery".

I think this is one of the craziest things I've ever heard. Let's hear your thoughts.

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