Monday, May 7, 2007

Losing Interest

That feeling is back. It's something I've felt many times in my life and all the telltale signs are present. It's been coming on for some time, but I've ignored it up until this point.

I'm restless and bored when I'm with my primary lover. I know her inside and out, physically and emotionally; there's nothing new to discover. The sex has become routine and we've pretty much run out of things to talk about; our time together has become humdrum and mundane. We're at the point now where we finish each other's sentences. Our relationship is comfortable, but it's no longer particularly exciting.

But I don't blame her. I've gone through this same pattern with women many times in the past. They don't change, but I get to know them too well and I inevitably lose interest. A relationship with a primary lover never lasts more than a few years for me, if that.

Usually, I just drift away from them slowly; it's rarely a dramatic break. I have some former primaries that I still see every now and then. I rarely want them completely out of my life. And even now, it's not that I want another woman to be primary; the next one has yet to be on the horizon. It's just that I don't want to see this one quite so often as I once did.

She's been talking about returning to college to get her Master's degree. I think it's a great idea. It will give her something to focus on other than me and should push that baby idea completely out of her mind. And it should keep her busy enough that it will be easier to see her less often. And who knows? It might give us something new to talk about.

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