Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Compliment or Insult?

There are some adjectives that many people commonly consider to be positive personal descriptions that I view negatively.

One such adjective is "wholesome". Thought most people see wholesomeness to be a desirable thing, almost synonymous with good physical and psychological health, I get a vaguely nauseated feeling every time I hear it. "Wholesome" makes me visualize bovine-looking fundamentalists wearing cardigan sweaters with glazed, deer-in-the-headlights expressions. Other adjectives that immediately spring to my mind are "bland", "blah", "boring", "beige", "mundane", and "banal". I am glad to be anything but wholesome.

Two related adjectives are "average" and "normal". Many people actually aim to be average, to herd with the flock, to avoid standing out in any way. In the drive to be seen as normal -- and who gets to define "normal", anyway -- some people repress any thoughts that are original, unusual, or different. Many equate normal and average with correct and mentally healthy, though this isn't always necessarily so. Being what society considers "normal" and "average" is probably the safest approach to take to life, but it's neither the most fun or the most enlightening.

Conversely, there are several adjectives that most people view negatively that I take a perverse satisfaction from when they are applied to me.

The first one, obviously, is "promiscuous". Though most people, even if they are, in fact, promiscuous, back away from being described thusly. But I've never shied away from it. I am
promiscuous, but I don't see this as a bad thing, so I don't see any need to make excuses, obfuscate, or resort to euphemism when talking about my relationships with women.

Another time, a blogger left a comment calling me a "predator" after reading an entry on my other blog describing an instance when I was specifically looking for a one night stand and ended up having a brief consensual encounter with an emotionally vulnerable woman.

Though I don't actually think of myself as a "predator" -- especially now with all the hysteria about sex offenders -- I was not offended by being called this. I have to admit it turned me on and aroused me, as I fantasized about being a mountain lion stalking through the hills seeking a new mate.

Am I warped? Perhaps. But at least I'm honest.

Are any of my readers either put off by some things that most people consider complimentary and fascinated -- or at least neutral -- about certain descriptions most people would consider unfavorable? If so, tell me below in your comment.

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