Sunday, June 3, 2007

From the Mouths of Children

As anyone who is a parent knows, sometimes kids can say the most off-the-wall things. I'm sure I said my share of crap, but the only thing I can remember is being a preschooler and watching my Dad do his income tax. My parents died laughing when I went over to my Dad and informed him that I was tax deductible. Who knows where the hell I heard that from.

I have a cousin eight years younger than me who always mixed up the words "aunt" and "uncle" when she was little. I can clearly remember her calling my father "Auntie" when she was about five or so. Everyone in the family teased her for years about that one.

My son came up with a few winners when he was a kid.

When he was three, if you asked him his age, he'd tell you that he was forty-five. I don't know where the hell he got that from

About a year later, if you asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he'd tell you he wanted to be a hit man. Seriously. The only thing I can figure is that he must have picked it up from one of the crime movies I'd watched back then.

A few years later, my father's car broke down. Very concerned, he asked my Dad if his car had had a heart attack.

Along that same time, I took him to eat dinner at the house of a married couple who were my friends. We were served steak and my son's steak had a thick strip of fat on it. Looking at the fat distastefully, he turned to the hostess and asked her if he had to eat the "rubber part". We all broke up and I'm still laughing now as I remember this.

What are some of the funny things your kids have said?

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