Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Ignoring "Expert" Advice, Yet Still Getting Good Results

I clicked on a link recently that brought me to a site that gave men pointers on how to attract and impress women. I read the tips provided and had to laugh because I don't follow most of them, yet I never seem to lack for bed partners. This particular advice list was telling men what every bachelor should own. Following is the list, with my comments.

1. A top-notch coffee/espresso maker
I don't even own a standard coffee pot, as I never drink the stuff. That's OK, because I don't bring women home to drink coffee. We can go to a cafe, if that's what she wants.

2. A lamp in your bedroom
I've got one of these -- doesn't everyone? I have it so I can read in bed and never thought it would especially impress a woman.

3. Swiffer sweeper + Swiffer cloths + Swiffer wet cloths
If my place is too nasty, I generally go to her place. And I'm guessing that a woman has better things to do when visiting me than checking the brand of my cleaning products.

4. A comfortable couch

I've got one of those, too, but again, it's not to impress women, but rather because my ass doesn't much like sitting on a hard bench. But there's no way I'd buy the "$1,200 Mercer" (whatever that is) that the article recommended.

5. Nice underwear

I have to agree with this one. If I'm going out to get laid, you can be sure I won't be wearing anything raggy with holes in it. I wear nice boxers -- never tighty whities.

6. A key-ring that can fix, cut, and open anything
Yeah, right. If a woman has a Boy Scout fetish I can see her being impressed with something like this, but otherwise, I don't get it.

7. $150+ jeans
Whaaaaat? You've got to be kidding me. I'll stick to my classic fit Lees and Levis, thank you very much, and spend the money I saved on something else. I don't bother with high-maintenance types where the price of my jeans would be a make or break deal, anyway. If I'm going to buy something expensive, clothes-wise, I'd rather lay down the money for a well-made leather jacket.

8. $200+ dress shoes
See above. I dress up about once per decade and there's no way I'd spend that much on a single pair of shoes.

9. 300-Thread-Count Cotton Sheets
People actually count the number of threads in a sheet? Who knew? Besides, the women I bring to my bed are too occupied with better things than counting the threads in my sheets.

10. The Joy of Cooking
I don't bring women home to eat. If she's hungry, we go to a restaurant.

There you have it. I ignore most of these "must-haves" and I still get laid regularly anyway. I guess the women I see haven't read this list.


D.K. said...

I've always noticed that women tend to observe details. Perhaps that is what this article is getting at, though in a manner that seems to reek of a marketing endeavor more than anything else.

On another note, I find subjects such as this - following what the "experts" say - fascinating. It's been my experience, again and again, that the so-called experts are often wrong. Just look at the weatherman for an initial example.

Countless hundreds of other examples occur everyday. If you look for it, it's frequently easy to see. Even science - the promoter of all "truth" - constantly turns around and changes its position (now drinking 8 glasses of water per day makes no difference, in recent news. In a few years, it will probably change...again).

The more I study this phenomenon, the more I find that no one really knows a damn thing about what they are talking about, except what affects them specifically. Even then, at times, we can be fooled.

And yes, that would include this entire comment.

AuntieM said...

From a female perspective I have to agree with most of your comments. I never cared for guys who were so shallow and materialistic as to pay $150 for jeans or $200 for shoes. I'm more interested in the person inside, not what they're wearing. I also agree that some of the suggestions reek of marketing. The only thing I can suggest is that higher thread count sheets are simply softer and more comfortable against the skin, so that enhances the overall sensual quality of the experience. Personally I like nice soft sheets...