Monday, June 23, 2008

When Did You Consider Yourself Divorced?

I've got a question for those who have been divorced or are about to.

When did you consider yourself divorced? In relation to the first question, when did you consider yourself free to date and to get into a new relationship?

Was it when you made the decision to divorce? Was it when you or your spouse moved out? Was it when you got a legal separation (if you did)? Or did you not consider yourself divorced and available to date until the court told you so and gave you the papers to prove it?

The reason I ask this is because I've encountered women who consider themselves married in every way, thus unavailable, up until the moment the judge officially grants the divorce. I don't think I've ever known a man who kept himself closed to new relationships up to that point.

I don't get that. Granted, I'm not monogamous, but if I were, I would consider myself free the moment I knew the marriage was broken beyond repair and that there was no turning back on a divorce. What is the point in remaining "faithful" to someone you no longer love and will no longer share your life with?

In a time when most divorces are of the no-fault variety, I don't see the point of keeping up the pretense of a marriage between the time the couple agrees to divorce and the time the government makes it official.


No comments: