Cheating?

Most people refer to extramarital activity among both the legally married and those in long term unmarried relationships as "cheating". As I've stated in an earlier entry, my gut response to that term is, "What is s/he, a test?" The similarity to sports terminology is also telling, as if one's relationships are nothing more than an elaborate game. Perhaps they are, at some level to some extent. Think of the expression "sport fucking", which is an old one, considering that people in the 18th century referred to casual sex as "bed sport".

But as there are many types of sports, there are many types of relationships. As there are individual sports, two player sports, and team sports, much the same can be said for sexual relationships. Unlike sports, however, where all manner of recreational activities are considered to be equally valid, monogamy has been aggressively pushed, by law and by custom, as the only ethical game in town. That is as ludicrous to me as touting tennis as the only sport worth engaging in, with all others being viewed as deviant, aberrant, and immoral. Likewise, as it would be equally absurd to compel all sports to be played by tennis rules, it is just as ridiculous to expect all intimate relationships to be monogamous.

It's not cheating if I'm playing a different game.