Following below is a list of euphemisms commonly and not-so-commonly used to substitute for the more clinical, “penis”. I didn’t come up with all of these myself; I found a site full of penis slang, Woody's World of Penis Euphemisms.
Before I begin, I’d like to note that two of Infamous J’s best male friends have first names that are penis euphemisms: Peter and Will(ie). Hmmm…..
Dick, cock, prick, dong, schlong, boner, hammer, tool, Johnson, twenty-first digit, all-day sucker, anaconda, the bald avenger, banana, bat and balls, battering ram, bayonet, beaver cleaver, bed snake, best leg of three, blue veined jackhammer, box buster, bushwhacker, candy cane, cattle prod, chick sticker, cigar, clit tickler, crankshaft, cream filled meat stick, crotch rocket, custard cannon, dangling participle, Darth Vader, dipstick, doughnut holder, earthworm, early riser, equipment, executive staff member, family jewels, fire hose, fishing rod, flesh tornado, Foofer, fuck stick, fuzz buster, gear shift, gluestick, hairy Houdini, hanging chad, herman the one eyed German, high pressure vein cane, the home wrecker, hooded warrior, hot dog, impaler, impregnator, jack in the box, jizz whiz, joy stick, kick stand, kidney wiper, kielbasa, King Dong, lance of love, leader of the sack, Lewinski lunch, leaky faucet, licking stick, lizard, lollipop, Long Dong Silver, Louisville plugger, Longrod von Hugenstein, love leg, magic wand, Major Woody, man root, master blaster, mayonnaise cannon, meat n’ potatoes, member, middle leg, Mr Happy, Moby Dick, morning glory, Mr Goodbar, muff marauder, nightstick, nut cannon, organ, other head, package, palm pilot, pecker, pants snake, pearl pole, passion pistol, phallus, piccolo, pickle, piece, pig in a blanket, pile driver, pink cigar, piss pump, piston rod, pocket rocket, pointer, pole, probe, PR-24, prong, pussy pounder, quarter pounder with cheese, ramrod, Richard Cranium, root of all evil, rolling pin, salami, sausage, schwanz, Sgt. Stiffy, serpent, shaft, sex pistol, short arm, skin flute, Slim Jim, slut stick, Spermin’ Herman, spigot, spunk trunk, super soaker, tallywhacker, thrill drill, tickle pickle, titan missile, toys for twats, trouser snake, ugly stick, unit, upright citizen, vagina miner, Vlad the impaler, wang, wand, weiner, wick, whore hammer, whopper, womb broom, zipper ripper.
To read the entire list, visit Woody’s World of Penis Euphemisms:
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