Thursday Thoughts

I've frequently heard the assertion that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.

My answer to that is, "Why be lazy?"
______________________________

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate.
______________________________

If you ever stop making mistakes, it means you're dead.
______________________________

Love comes in spurts
______________________________

Insurance industry = legalized, organized crime
______________________________

Murphy's General Workplace Law:

If it works and it makes sense, they'll change it.
If it's stupid, they'll make it a written rule
______________________________

As heard on the police radio:

A dispatcher once described a suspect as wearing "pan tants" (tan pants)

Dispatcher: See the lady who had her car stolen out of her purse
Officer: Was it a Matchbox?

(same dispatcher, by the way, who'd gotten it mixed up again)

Dispatcher: Can you describe the suspect?
Officer (who had just arrived on the scene): Yeah.....gone!

Dispatcher: Go to 100B Something Apartments. Caller complained there is a man masturbating outside her bedroom window.
Officer: Can you describe the suspect?
Dispatcher: He'll be the one with his pants around his ankles and his dick in his hand

Officer (while chasing a calf that got away from the stockyards): I think we'll need our special Smith and Wesson rope for this one
Officer 2: Tennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-four!