Can you imagine this bimbo explaining this one to her grandchildren forty years from now? That is, if she can get laid to bear any children in the first place!
Another “classy” tattoo
Bible verses and tramp stamps — the perfect combo!
This last one isn’t a tramp stamp, but I’m guessing the owner of these tattoos has absolutely no desire to ever get laid again:
I’ve posted about TV commercials that annoy the crap out of me in a few past entries. Today, I thought I’d be different and write about one that is currently my favorite. I could see how people could find this one annoying as well, but there’s something about it that hits my funny bone just the right way and makes me laugh.
This one is the latest in a series of Alltel commercials where Chad the Alltel guy outwits four dweeby, dorky representatives from four other cell phone companies who wear brightly colored polo shirts.. In this most recent commercial, Chad is standing on the sidewalk trying to persuade a family to switch cell phone companies. The four dorks come along and the guy in the yellow shirt, a pudgy, short guy with a Richard Simmons lookalike hairstyle, starts ranting and raving:
This commercial is shown about a hundred times a day, but it cracks me up every time. I think the guy who plays the dork in the yellow shirt probably has a brilliant career ahead of him in comedy.
I’ve read about collagen injections and “lip plumpers”, which are designed to make a woman’s lips bigger. I have to admit I don’t really get the appeal of this; kissing a woman who has done this to herself is kind of a rubbery, blubbery experience.
And when I’m going in for a kiss, I’m not concerned with the appearance of her lips. It’s all about the tongue for me.
This one looks to me like she went a few rounds in the boxing ring.
Bird strikes on airplanes, like the one that downed the US Airways jet on January 15th into the Hudson River, are an increasingly common problem for pilots.
Fortunately, a simple and effective solution has been proposed that causes the birds no harm:
I got this one in an email
The other day, I was visiting a lover I don't see all that regularly, and she told me that I have "Relationship ADD", because I flit from relationship to relationship, with little interest in settling down with one woman.
After I finished laughing my ass off, I conceded that she was probably right and that referring to my wandering ways as such was really rather clever.
I thought about it a little, and realized that one of the prime reasons I tend to move on from any particular relationship is boredom; once I've pretty well gotten all the mystery out of a particular relationship and my partner has become fairly predictable, my attention wanders and I lose interest. Rarely do my relationships break up because of anger or hard feelings; they die from lost interest and benign neglect.
And like those with ADD who jump from one thing to another, I've long been happy with having several lovers concurrently; when one gets boring, I go visit another, so I that I don't get terminally bored with any particular one permanently too soon.
Nevertheless, this type of ADD is one that I have no interest in "curing".
Lately, while listening to radio and TV, I've heard a lot of poor enunciations. Following are some recent examples I've noted.
My female cat is twelve years old now. And the older she gets, the more crotchety she becomes.
She has a bad habit of perching on the narrow ledge of windows in the house; the place where the upper and lower windows meet. She's OK there, as long as she's awake and alert. However, she tends to fall asleep on that narrow ledge, contorted into a weird position. And no sooner than she fully relaxes and drifts off to sleep than she tends to fall from her perch, hitting the floor (or the kitchen counter if she's in that window) with a resounding thump.
You'd think she'd learn and find another place to sleep where she'd be more secure. But that is something you'd be wrong about. No matter how many times she falls out of the window, she goes right back to it, only to fall again a few minutes later. I've done all I can to persuade her to perch elsewhere, but she won't even consider it. If I move her somewhere else, she'll just run right back to the damned window.
The other day she fell out of the window and I suddenly heard her hissing and spitting. I looked to see if the tom was hassling her, but he wasn't even in the room. She's fallen from the kitchen window right into a half eaten borwl of soup I'd left on the counter and she was dripping wet. The bowl was a disposable cardboard bowl, so she'd not hurt herself with glass shards.
She was just royally pissed off at me for leaving the soup there and for getting all wet. When I approached her to make sure she wasn't hurt, she just gave me a look that could kill and hissed emphatically at me. If she could have spoke, she'd have told me to clean up the damned mess, already.
By this time, the tom came into the kitchen to see what the hell was wrong with her and she hissed at him, too, for good measure.
Have any of you ever had your cats to verbally complain at you in this manner before?
This past Tuesday, West Viriginia police officer T.E. Parsons brought a suspect to the police station for a breathalyzer test.
During the course of the test, the suspect, Jose Cruz, allegedly farted and made fanning motions, directing the stink toward the officer. Officer Parsons then charged Cruz with battery.
Kanawha County Magistrate Jack Pauley signed a motion to dismiss the charge Thursday.
Better watch out! Those fart blossom mushroom clouds can be deadly!
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