Snow

We hadn't had any snow this winter in my town. There had been plenty of cold days, but none of the white stuff. Usually, my town gets a snowfall or two every year, but I figured we weren't getting any this year.

The trees in my yard were budding, I'd begun getting bird shit on my car, and the other night I heard crickets chirping. I figured that spring was here, despite it being February.

Winter wasn't quite done yet. Late this afternoon, it began to snow, and I don't mean flurries, either. It fell for a few hours, quickly accumulating, accompanied by thunder and lightning at times -- thundersnow! Unfortunately, because we get so little snow, our town isn't equipped to prepare the roads for safe driving in snow. I had to run out to get some cat food, and I had to slip and slide my way down to the store. Fortunate few cars were out and about, though I passed an SUV who'd gotten stuck.

As of this writing, at around 1030 pm, we're expecting another wave of snow to last until morning, and we're supposed to get about 5 inches or so by then.

It's supposed to get up into the mid-40s tomorrow, so the snow will be gone by this time tomorrow. It was nice to see, even if a bit late in the season. Too bad it didn't come on Christmas Eve.

Bad Week

I'd written the other day that my AC had conked out though it was only four years old.

Well, the week hasn't gotten any better. The next day, my computer was acting slower than normal, so I rebooted it as that usually helps to speed it up a bit. When I came back online and opened the Firefox browser, I discovered that all my bookmarks had vanished. Poof! So, I've been laboriously going around to various sites trying to re-create what I had. But I had a complicated set of bookmarks and I know I'll never remember what all I had, so I won't get everything back.

The next thing I did was schedule a backup for the computer. It stopped midway through, informing me I didn't have enough space to perform a full backup. I was pissed off to find that it had retained what it had been able to back up until that point, however, and had eaten up what space I'd had available. And I have no fucking clue how to get rid of the partial backup I did so I can get back what space I'd had available before starting the backup.

I had the day off yesterday and though it was raining, I went out to pay some bills. It was clammy and humid in addition to being wet. Nevertheless, I was glad to be under my car's cool air conditioning considering I now have none in the house. As I paid the last bill at a drive up window, a man in the next lane pointed out to me that I had a flat tire. Fucking great. It was pouring down rain at this time and I certainly didn't want to be out trying to change a tire in that weather.

However, there was a tire store a block from where I was, so I crept down there carefully. It was OK, as it wasn't quite to the point of being a flopping flat tire just yet. I even clung to the vain hope that it was just a leak that could be repaired. But that was silly of me. It, of course, needed to be replaced, even though the tire in question was less than a year old. Money has been tight lately and I really didn't need to be buying another one now. But as I can't put it off and drive with only three tires, I did what I had to do.

As I sat in the waiting room, the TV was talking about an tornado warnings all over my area. I commented on this to the clerk and he said the tornado sirens in town had gone off two times already that afternoon.

WTF? That's the first I'd heard of it. Though I lived a couple of miles from where the tire store was, I'd not heard any sirens at all. The closest siren to me is about a mile off and with two fans running in my house, there's no way I'd have heard it unless I stepped outside and even then, I'd have to listen carefully to pick it up.

We had several more warnings throughout the evening, though none in my direct area and the rain continued as the remnants of Hurricane Fay slowly made its way through the area. I'm under a tornado watch even as I type, but I'm guessing it's only a precaution, as I think the bulk of what's left of the storm has moved northward.

I can only hope the rest of my week get better.

How to End a Drought

My area is in the throes of a long running drought. Local officials have encouraged people to stop watering their lawns and to sharply reduce how often they wash their cars. This isn't going to work, as we all know quite well that leaving a car dirty causes dry and sunny weather!
I'm surprised that local officials haven't proposed some of the following sure-fire ways to make it rain:

1. Organize a mass car wash

2. Encourage everyone in town to leave their car windows down overnight

3. Encourage people to erect clotheslines for drying clothes and to leave clothes drying overnight

4. Plan an outdoor concert

5. Mandate that all wedding and wedding receptions be held outdoors.

6. Plan an outdoor craft fair

7. Encourage people to spray their weeds with Round-Up (rain will cause this not to work)

Feel free to list some of your favorite rain-causing activities in the comment box.

Weather Rant

We've been having a heat wave here for the better part of a week. Daytime high temps are averaging ten degrees above normal for this time of year. That's the high 90s, close to 100, folks. Accompanied by high humidity, of course.

I know some areas are getting it worse than me with flooding, tornadoes, and so on, but that's only scant comfort from the heat. I hate hot weather like a cat hates rain. Up until this latest heat wave, temps had been reasonable and I'd been under the (mistaken) impression that we were going to have a mild summer.

I don't feel like doing anything but laying around under the air conditioner. I've reverted to reverse-hibernation mode, rarely going out until early evening. I'm considering moving my bed right under the air conditioning vent, as it's too sticky to even get laid right now. Now, that's HOT!

Even my cats are miserable. They're just laying around listlessly, as close to the AC vent as they can get. Neither them nor I have much of an appetite; it's too hot to eat.

Too hot to eat, too hot to fuck. That's definitely my idea of hell.

May Odds and Ends

I'm worn out from my "birthday visits" to several women, so today will be an odds and ends entry.

It's cool and overcast here today, but I don't think it will rain. Perfect weather for me, as bright sunlight bothers my eyes. It would be nice if the weather would stay this way all summer, but I'm not holding my breath.
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I've added a new commercial to my "love to hate" list. It's from Hardee's, who has a history of crappy commercials. I love their burgers, but I think they have some of the most obnoxious commercials going.

This latest commercial has two scruffy looking blue collar workers eating their burgers inside their vehicle. For much of the commercial all you hear is amplified slurping and smacking which. on its own, is enough to make me lose my appetite. It certainly doesn't make me want to run out to Hardee's for a burger.

Finally, one guy says to the other, who has just finished his burger, "Are you going to eat your cheese paper?" Blech. Totally fucking gross. And I ask you, what kind of man wants to lick the cheese off another man's burger wrapping? I'm getting nauseated just thinking about it.
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On the Yahoo home page this morning, I noticed a box featuring very expensive cars. One was the Lamborghini Murcielago. Glancing at it quickly, I thought it was the Lamborghini Mucilage. You know -- that brownish-orange paste you used to use in art projects in elementary school.

I'm guessing the tires on this car really stick to the road!
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I've ranted about a TV commercial, now it's time to move on to radio. And the focus of the rant is poor enunciation.

In one ad, the announcer speaks of "assessories" one can get with a particular product. Is that stuff for your ass or is it stuff to assess the original product with?

In another spot, the announcer urged listeners to buy "bloons" supporting breast cancer research for Mother's Day. Bloons? How lazy can this mush-mouthed announcer be if she couldn't say the entire two syllable of balloons?

Thoughts?

Miscellania

Two kids somewhere in my neighborhood got mopeds recently. How do I know? It's easy -- they're constantly riding the damned things up and down the street at all hours. I'm guessing they think they're cool; that they're "real bikers". On the contrary. The buzzing, mosquito-like whine of a moped is nothing like the deep-throated growl of a full-fledged motorcycle. Sorry, kids. Riding a moped up and down the same street for hours on end doesn't make you a "real biker" -- rather it makes you a "pesty nerd".
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It seems that the latest advertising buzz word in the fast food industry is "melty". I've been hearing it a lot in commercials in the last year, starting with a Taco Bell commercial, if I'm not mistaken. The latest use of this pseudo-word (the proper adjective is "melted") is on a commercial for the McDonald's double cheeseburger. The cheese is melted....errr "melty"...on a cheeseburger! Who knew?
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I've found a funny website, Today's Gripe which is a blog full of rants, both from the webmaster and those submitted by readers. I contributed one of my favorite rants, "A Typical Trip to McDonald's" which can be read by clicking on the link. I'm sure the blog owner will be happy to post some of your rants as well.
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Yesterday, I heard a news story about a golfer that killed a bird. What got my attention apart from the story was the golfer's first name, Trip. I hope this is only a nickname. Now I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd want to go through life being addressed by a word that is a synonym for "stumble". I mean, you might as well call the guy "Spaz".

This pretentious sounding (nick)name is one of several of this type: Skip, Buster, Buzzy, Binky, ad nauseum.
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I got an email from a friend in Mississippi accompanied by pictures of the snowstorm they got last night.

Not us. Spring has been well under way for the last couple of weeks. It nearly hit 70 yesterday, the trees are budding, and I found bird shit on the car yesterday. The only thing yet to make its appearance is the yellow-green pollen on the cars.

Today we had a "cold snap" -- it's in the 40s today -- but nowhere near snowing weather. Sigh.

Wacky Weather

Yesterday, the high temperature record was broken for my area with a daytime high of 79F. Today has been much the same and it's supposed to continue for the next couple of days.

I've had to use my air-conditioner both in the car and in the house. In December. I do live in the south, but I don't live in the tropics, so these temperatures have been at least 20 degrees higher than what is considered seasonal.

People have been commenting on the "beautiful" weather, but I've been grumbling. I don't like summer in July -- I sure as hell don't like it in December. It's taken the Christmas spirit away and looking at Christmas lights while I'm sweating is oddly incongruous, let alone the vision of Santa in swim trunks.

But the wacky weather did have one advantage, as I was able to have an outdoor hookup earlier this afternoon and, with it being December, sans the insects.

But I'm hoping that it will be at least be cold for Christmas even if we can't have snow.

November Odds and Ends

A couple of weeks ago, I ordered a new winter bathrobe -- I had to order it because they didn't have the color I wanted in stock at the store. 3 guesses as to which color I chose. It finally showed up yesterday, and not a moment too soon, either.

Summer has finally packed its bags and left town. Last night dipped into the 20s and tonight is supposed to do the same. I wore the new robe for the first time last night and it did the job -- I was nice and toasty. It's thick enough and sufficiently long that I'll be warm, even if I'm naked underneath.
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In the Odd News section, Yahoo noted that an Illinois middle-schooler was given two days of detention for hugging two friends goodbye for the weekend,

School officials defended the detention by citing the school handbook: "Displays of affection should not occur on the school campus at any time. It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgment, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved."

Say what? The girl wasn't humping her boyfriend in the halls -- she was showing affection for two platonic friends. I suppose the school would have found it in better taste if she'd given them each the finger instead.

Zero tolerance policies don't allow for the exercise of common sense and are worse than useless, in my opinion.
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While browsing the Yahoo news page, I also came upon an article about relationships with the title; "Does a Wandering Eye Mean a Wandering Heart?" This was an article that discussed whether men who look at and note the attractiveness of women other than their wife/partner will take the next step and pursue the ones they found attractive.

My first thought was to rename the article to make it more blunt and to the point: "Does a Wandering Eye Mean a Wandering Cock?". After all, any wandering would be about sex, and not necessarily about love. A man who would wander would not necessarily waver in his love for his wife; it would be all about lust.

Of course, in my own instance, it wouldn't be the looking that would prompt the wandering. I'm already pre-disposed to wandering, so I could have been born a blind man and I'd still be tomcatting. And, of course, it wouldn't be practical for me to pursue every woman I find attractive. There would be enough hours in the day if I did.

Naturally, the author didn't focus on men like me; he focused on the ones who don't wander. He made the point that men who are committed to being monogamous can look and appreciate, without having to follow through; that men are perfectly capable of "window-shopping", but keeping their "wallets" in their pockets.

Odds and Ends

Not feeling particularly inspired tonight, so this will be an odds and ends entry.

I've been feeling under the weather for the last few days, not feeling quite up to par. The other day I woke up feeling vaguely nauseated. I didn't stay up long, as I had no energy. I slept all day long, getting up just long enough to run to the bathroom to run at both ends. I alternated between shivering and burning up -- yep, I was sick, all right.

I think I ended up sleeping about 18 hours straight, save for the bathroom runs.

I had a lunch date the next day, which I managed to keep, but I had to beg off on the afternoon in bed that was originally to follow lunch. With my not-quite-settled stomach, I didn't dare hazard it.

I'm still not quite 100%, though I'm better. I guess it will take awhile to completely get over it
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Though it's the end of October, you'd never know it around here by looking at the thermometer. The temps today were up in the 80s, accompanied by full summertime humidity.

To top the day off, we had a storm front run through here tonight that generated two tornado warnings, though the worst of the weather passed about 25 miles to the north of me, fortunately.

I have the air-conditioning running even as I type this entry.

Looks like another endless summer again this year.

Well, I'm still feeling a bit "off", so I think I'll give up on writing an interesting entry and head off for bed.

Shake, Ramble, and Rant

I'm not feeling inspired to write about any topic in particular today, though I do feel inspired to write. So, this will be another rambling monologue about whatever crosses my mind as I compose this entry.

After about a week of near-fall temperatures that teased those of us living in my area into thinking we would have an on-time arrival of fall this year, summer has returned in full force. Yesterday, the temperatures reached a humid 90 degrees that necessitated the wearing of shorts. Though the leaves showed early signs of color change weeks ago, the level of color change has stalled, with most trees still remaining 90% dressed out in green leaves. The stores are showing Halloween and even Christmas decorations, yet the weather would seem to indicate Fourth of July sales, instead. I'm just hoping that summer will not obdurately remain until the middle of December as it did last year.

Though I live in the foothills of the Appalachians, the weather screams "Florida!" It makes me wondering what Florida's weather is now screaming -- "Amazon rainforest!", perhaps?

The temperatures are supposed to drop like a rock tonight, but I'll believe it when I see it.
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Alternet had another article yesterday that got me into rebuttal mode and I ended up leaving two novel-length comments over there. I'm guessing I'd be very happy if I were a columnist full-time for Alternet.

I would have made the comments the subject of today's entry, but the first comment was a rehash of my Domestic Partnership entry of a few days ago, and the second was a rehash of a post I did about a year ago, so I didn't want to do another rerun over here. For those interested in what I had to say anyway, click here to read the article and comments.
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Vegetarians, you might want to look away from the screen now. If you read on, don't say I didn't warn you.

I admit it; I grab a lot of meals on the run at fast food joints. Some places are decidedly better than others, but I usually end up visiting them all on a rotating basis eventually.

One change that I've noticed in most of the fast food chains -- and it's not for the better -- is that they've gradually increased the amount of mayonnaise used on a burger. Don't get me wrong; I like mayonnaise, but, for me, a little bit goes a long way. I just want a little taste of it -- I don't want the sandwich drowning in it.

The two biggest offenders in this regard are Burger King and Wendy's, and Hardee's is beginning to catch up. They put on so much mayonnaise that it drips out the bottom when you pick up the burger.

And what's worse is that all this mayo makes the bun soggy and slimy, and the bun rapidly disintegrates after you take the first squishy bite. Feel free to barf now.

The other day, my son came over to the house with the DVD "We Are Marshall" and a bag full of Burger King small burgers. I opened the first one and saw the mayonnaise miasma all over the top bun. The lettuce, onions, etc on the bun had been totally drowned in mayo and had decomposed into a limp, slimy mess. But I was hungry, so I scraped everything off the bun, then tried to eat it.

But I couldn't. For one thing, the bun was still soggy, and the cheap, greasy mayo they'd used had contaminated the taste of the meat. I just put it aside, disgusted.

Let's just put it this way -- I've had prepackaged cardboard burgers out of vending machines that were more appetizing than this mess.

I know McDonald's gets a bad rap, but the one saving grace of their Quarter Pounder is that NO MAYO is used on them. For the rest of the fast food joints, I make sure to specify "no mayo" whenever I order from them. Saves my stomach and saves them money.

Saturday Happenings

Today, I went to the annual book sale put on by the Greenville Literacy Association, which works to foster adult literacy in the community through tutoring and other efforts. I'd meant to go last year, but forgot to ask off from work to do so. So, I made a point of attending this year.

I'd wanted to get an early start, but it's very difficult for me to get up early in the morning, so I didn't get there until about 3 hours after it began. After I got there, I'd wished I could have been there when they opened the doors, as several sections were already fairly well picked through when I got to them.

Though general fiction books were overrepresented, I still managed to leave with five books, one of which I'd been particularly hunting for, all at good prices. The lover who accompanied me left considerably more loaded down than I was.

My only real complaint was that the building was not sufficiently air-conditioned and I was sweating like a dockworker by the time I was ready to leave. I made the suggestion that they hold next year's sale in November, as I'd have stayed and looked longer if it had been cooler in there.

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It seems as if a comment I made at the Alternet website was chosen as one of the 10 Best Comments of the Week:

Reader's Ten Best Comments of the Week
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In the last week while driving around town, I've noticed many trees whose leaves are changing color, into fall yellows and oranges. It appears that the trees are as eager for fall to arrive as the rest of us are.

Odds and Ends in August

The next time I decide to have sex outside in the summertime, would someone please hit me upside the head and remind me of this post?

I won't go into too much explicit detail here, but the other night I got the urge and called up a lover to see if she could help me out. She told me that she wasn't at home and wouldn't be for awhile, but that she could meet me somewhere.

To make a long story short, we ended up doing the deed outside against her car. When I got home, I realized that my ass and legs were covered in mosquito bites. Very itchy mosquito bites. And trying to scratch that many bites with just my fingers simply wasn't getting the job done. So I got an old hair brush and went to town on myself with that to get some relief. I ended up spending that night periodically scratching like a hound.

I'm still itching some -- the hot weather we've been having hasn't helped things at all.
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Speaking of the weather, we had our first triple-digit high temperature of the summer today. The official high temperature was 104F, which set a record. The lowest temperature of the day also set a record for being the highest low temperature. Unfortunately, the weatherman predicted more of the same for tomorrow, with no rain in sight.

It was so hot today that I thought I saw a guy wearing a red suit and carrying a pitchfork as I drove around town.

Despite it being almost too hot to breathe, let along eat, this didn't stop the usual crop of idiots from ordering pizza. We could have had alien invaders marching down our town's main street, and these cretins would still be ordering pizza. Hell, I'd not be surprised if the aliens would order pizza to be delivered to their spaceship as well!

I managed to get through the night without completely melting into a greasy puddle, but when I got home, I had to literally peel the sweaty clothes off my body. I'd left the air-conditioning on when I'd left the house, so that the cats wouldn't get too hot while I was gone. So, at least I got cool quickly enough once I'd divested myself of my nasty clothes.
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While listening to a radio talk show tonight, one caller said "incentivize" when talking to the host. When I heard this, I yelled at the radio, "That's not a word, you fucking moron!" Out of all types of bastardizations of the English language, I think I despise corporate trendy lingo the most.
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I read that there was a F2 tornado in Brooklyn yesterday. This is an extremely rare occurrence for New York City, the last time being in 1889. Screwy weather, indeed.

Weather Rant

It's here. And it's three months early. Over the last two weeks, the many signs of its impending arrival have become increasingly more obvious and harder to ignore. The grass is growing, the lawn mowers are rumbling, the trees are blooming, the pollen is polluting, the birds are shitting, the crickets are chirping, the coats are disappearing to be replaced by shorts, the temperatures are rising, the sweat is trickling and stinking, and so on. The only things that have yet to return are the bugs.

Yes, that's right. Summer is here in all its cloying glory. The winters are always mild in this part of the country, nor do they last very long. And this winter has been milder than most -- summer hung on here well into December, and it's already back again. We really don't have a spring here; it seems to go directly from winter into summer. It's been in the high sixties to mid seventies during the day for the last two weeks or so, which would be great weather for June, but I don't want summer in March. And it's supposed to hit 80 tomorrow. Ugh.

I can tell which of my coworkers are summer lovers -- they are the first ones to start wearing shorts again, as soon as the temps rise above 55 degrees, and they are the diehards who wear them the longest in the fall. I'm just the opposite. I hate wearing shorts, as they seem little kid-ish, and I put off wearing them until the sweat is collecting on my kneecaps. I'm about at the point now where a short sleeve t-shirt with jeans is comfortable.

And then there are those with thin blood. I was out today and saw a woman with her kids, all bundled up in thick ski jackets, despite it being 70 degrees. I wanted to pass out with heat stroke just looking at them. Similarly, I've delivered to people in the last two weeks who have portable kerosene heaters going in their houses, despite it being about 65 degrees at the time. Each time, I could almost see the heat rolling out the door as they opened it, with the temperature almost knocking me down. Even if it was ten degrees outside, I'd not heat my house as hot as these people had their homes. I just shake my head, knowing these people would never make it if they lived up north.

It seems as if summer is a "stronger" season than winter in temperate climates. We've all heard of unseasonably warm days in December and January -- 80 degrees on Christmas Day, for example. But you never hear of it snowing in July or simply being 30 degrees on the Fourth of July. Summer is always slow to leave in the fall and quick to reappear again in the spring. Seems like Murphy's Law to me.

I liked summer as a kid. But I'm sure it's because I didn't have to go to school and because I lived up north where there was a real winter and where summer was shorter and less intense. I could even tolerate it now better, even down south, if I could have a three month vacation from working.

Thoughts?

Some Signs of Spring

Spring comes each year in a predictable pattern.

The first sign that winter is over is the blooming of what I call the "pollen trees", with their white and pink blooms. The next sign is that I notice that I'm sneezing a lot more often, even though I don't have a cold. The blooming of daffodils isn't far behind once the sneezing season begins.

Next comes the rain, the wind, and the mud. In between rainstorms, many days I wake up to the less than melodious drone of lawnmowers.

I really know spring is here when local birds go on dive bombing missions with my car as the target. For a couple of weeks now, I've gone to get in the car and it's splattered from front to back with bird shit. There's no point in washing it, because the birds will just coat it again by morning. It's to the point where I'm wondering if there are red circles painted on my roof that only birds can see. The only upshot to this is that I'm at least grateful that cows can't fly.

I'm still waiting on the last sign that winter is gone for good: the yellowish-green pollen dust that will coat my car to complement the white polka dots of bird crap as a spring fashion statement.

March, the Blah Month

March first already. As I sit here in front of the computer, I can hear the wind whipping around the house; March is coming in like a lion this year.

March has always been kind of a doldrums month for me, kind of a blah, nothing month. As a kid, I'd get depressed about this time of the year. By March, it seemed as if the school year had gone on forever, but it was still quite a long way from summer vacation. The holiday season was well past and there were no fun holidays to look forward to, to break up the time until school was out for the year.

And even in New Jersey, the snow season had pretty much ended by March, so the sledding season had ended as well. March weather was usually depressing -- lots of rain, wind, and mud. And it didn't get quite warm enough to enjoy being outdoors much; not quite warm enough for baseball or biking.

Now, as an adult, March doesn't make me quite as depressed as when I was growing up, but it's still a blah month. The rain, mud, and wind are still part of this month, but now that I'm living in the south, the weather can sometimes be quite warm by the beginning of March. And because time passes a lot quicker now than when I was a kid and because I no longer get summers off, that depresses me, as I know summer is right around the corner.

Summer up north as a kid was cool, not having to go to school and getting to do what I wanted with pleasant warm days. Summer down south as an adult is miserable, having to drag myself to work in blast furnace temperatures. And it will be here a lot sooner than it would if I were still up north.

Ugh.