Phenomenal Trumpet Solo

This is Maynard Ferguson, recorded some time in the 1960s. Ferguson, who died in 2006, was best known for his incredible range with the trumpet, easily able to hit notes more properly in the range of a piccolo. As a teenager playing trumpet in the high school band in the mid-70s, this man was my trumpet playing role model. Enjoy.

Musical Tastes of a Preschooler

I’ve liked music since my earliest years, as music of all kinds was ever-present in my home as long as I can remember. And even from my preschool years, I expressed my preferences of music I liked best.

Recently, I’ve been exploring YouTube, as much as my limited dial-up connection will allow. I came upon two of my earliest favorite songs, which turned out to be, believe it or not, Dixieland jazz. Odd preferences for a preschooler, but there you are. Listening to them again 40+ years later, I find I still like the songs as much as I did as a little kid.

Below are videos of the two songs.

These are the two songs that made me want to take up the trumpet

Why I Hate "Live" Albums

Over the years, when buying recorded music: LP albums, and later, CDs, I've always avoided buying "Live" albums. That is, music recorded live at a concert. There are several reasons why I hate "Live" albums in general, though there are a few exceptions:

1. The songs are generally rushed, as the musicians desire to cram in as many songs during a concert as possible.

2. The songs are often stripped down as well as being rushed: fewer instruments, simpler arrangements, etc.

3. Live albums are always marred by the sound of morons in the audience who feel they must accompany the musicians by emitting frequent and lengthy high-pitched whistles. I prefer to hear my favorite musicians unaccompanied by the sound of "FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" every few seconds, tyvm.

I can only think of one live album that I like and that is Eric Clapton's "Just One Night", recorded at Tokyo's Budokan Theatre in December, 1979, which happens to be my favorite Clapton album.

Thoughts?

Memories in a CD

Lately, I’ve been turning to the library to fill in the gaps in my music collection. I’ve been borrowing CDs to take home to upload into my Windows Media Player and will, at some point, load selected songs into my MP3 player. Money is tight right now, plus I’ve noticed that the places I usually buy CDs at have drastically reduced their selections for some reason.

I didn’t have anything particular in mind, so I just browsed the stacks. After looking through the jazz selection, I ended up with a Dave Brubeck CD, “Time Out”, which included the track “Take Five“. It brought back a lot of memories, as this was a song that I discovered when I was around 11 0r 12.

I began taking piano lessons when I was ten years old, and started in band the following year. At that time, kids in the “band culture” of my school were exposed to a lot of jazz. So, while most kids my age were listening to rock, pop, and the like, I was listening to jazz. Though I like rock music now, my first choices in music when I started getting my own albums were in jazz.

“Take Five” was one of the first jazz songs I got into, and I was fortunate to hear Brubeck, along with Gerry Mulligan perform this song in the summer of 1972 at the Newport Jazz Festival in New York City. I was also lucky enough to meet them after the set, and I think it pleased them that someone as young as I was at the time was getting into their music (I was 14), In next few years, I also saw Maynard Ferguson in concert twice and participated in a jazz workshop with Stan Kenton at my high school. At that time I wanted to be a jazz musician myself (and I’m sorry I didn’t fulfill my dream now).

The CD I borrowed was the original recording with Brubeck and alto saxophonist Paul Desmond (who wrote the song). I was surprised to see that this song was originally recorded in 1959 — at the time I first got into it, I’d assumed it was a recent recording. But as I listened to it in the car on the way home from the library, it still had all the original electricity that attracted me to the song in the first place and in no way sounded as if it had been recorded 50 years ago. It sounds as fresh now as it did in the summer of 1959 when they recorded it. And it still has sufficient power to make me feel the feelings all over again I had as a teen in the early 70s when I first wanted to become a musician.

A Musical Trip Down Memory Lane

Recently, I acquired a used MP3 player to use while driving, so I don’t have to lug around dozens of CDs any longer, nor worry about changing them in traffic.

In preparation for loading it up with music, I ripped all my CDs to my computer’s Windows Media Player, cherry picking the songs I wanted from each CD, in order to save space.

As I pulled out CDs from my car and from every nook and cranny in the house, I realized there were several missing, no doubt having “found” their way into my son’s collection, which I intend to remedy at the soonest opportunity. I also realized that I had a long way to go to replace all the vinyl records I owned when I switched over to CDs years ago.

Working with what I had, I realized that I had a fairly eclectic mix of genres, though it does lean heavily to classic rock. As I ripped the CDs, I listened to some of the songs as the computer uploaded them, some of which I’d not listened to in years

At my age, I am now free to admit my like for various types “uncool” music that I couldn’t have openly admitted twenty years ago: stuff from my parents’ generation, some country and folk music, and classical music.

Other songs brought back strong memories of where I was and what I was doing the first heard them. I particularly have an affinity for ballads that tell a story, as they’re a nice change from the typical songs about love that are ubiquitous to nearly all genres of music.

A small sampling of some of the “uncool” music I listened to and my thoughts about each songs:

Fanfare for the Common Man — Aaron Copland

I’ve been a fan of Copland’s music since I was privileged to play the lead trumpet part for this piece in high school. Fanfare For the Common Man, along with 18 other fanfares written by other composers, was written upon request in 1942 to be “stirring and significant contributions to the war effort….”. Copland’s Fanfare is the only one to have stood the test of time, and when I hear this, I can easily visualize the Normandy landings on D-Day as, in Winston Churchill’s words, “the new world, with all its power and might, stepped forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.”

Brother, Can You Spare a Dime? — Tom Jones

I know that some people consider Jones little more than a faintly sleazy lounge lizard singer, but Jones in his earlier career, sticking to the ballads which best show off his not inconsiderable talent, is well worth listening to. Brother, Can You Spare a Dime, a Depression-era ballad, is an excellent example of Jones’ sheer vocal power and emotional range.

Originally written in 1931 at the height of the Depression, about a man, who was apparently a WWI veteran, telling about his fall from economic security. The words are uncomfortably relevant again now in the current severe economic downturn.

Once I built a railroad, made it run
Made it race against time
Once I built a railroad, now it’s done
Brother, can you spare a dime

Once I built a tower, to the sun
Bricks, rivet, and lime
Once I built a tower, now it’s done
Brother, can you spare a dime

Once in cocky suits
Gee, we looked swell
Full of that Yankee Doodle-dom

Half a million boots, they went
Slogging through Hell
And I, I was a kid with a drum

Say, don’t you remember
They called me Al
It was Al all the time

Say, don’t you remember
I’m your pal
Buddy, can you spare a dime

It Was a Very Good Year — Frank Sinatra

Though another singer with a reputation as a lounge singer, I have to admit I’ve liked this song, recorded some time during my elementary school years, since I was a kid.

I’d not listened to this song in many, many years until I uploaded the CD to my computer the other night. As I listened to this song, the words hit me like a punch to the gut. Though I’d not noticed it before, this is a song about an aging libertine wistfully remembering his libertine life as he remembered the women he’d been with over the years.

Though I’m not quite at the point of being “in the autumn of the year” yet, now that I’ve hit fifty, the words have suddenly become uncomfortably relevant to me. And I have to admit hearing this song again with new ears gave me a lump in my throat — this is my life and is my future.

When I was seventeen
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls
And soft summer nights
Wed hide from the lights
On the village green
When I was seventeen

When I was twenty-one
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for city girls
Who lived up the stair
With all that perfumed hair
And it came undone
When I was twenty-one

When I was thirty-five
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for blue-blooded girls
Of independent means
We’d ride in limousines
Their chauffeurs would drive
When I was thirty-five

But now the days grow short
I’m in the autumn of the year
And now I think of my life as vintage wine
from fine old kegs
from the brim to the dregs
It poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year

Pretty Girls Are a Dime a Dozen

Unless you're living under a rock, you've heard the story of Susan Boyle, a contestant who recently appeared on Britain's Got Talent.

Because of the 47 year old's unpolished, matronly appearance and manner, people in the audience openly mocked her as she took the stage. Similarly, the judges on stage, which included American Idol's, Simon Cowell, expected little to no musical talent from this contestant.

That all changed once she'd sung a few bars of I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables. Cowell's jaw dropped at Boyle's phenomenal talent and all the pin-headed morons in the audience suddenly shut their traps and later gave Boyle a much-deserved standing ovation.

Good for her. Kudos to her for shutting up Simon Cowell for once in his life and for showing the audience that musical talent -- or talent of any kind -- is not tied to a person's appearance. She has yet again proven the truth of the old saying, "Don't judge a book by cover.".

Putting his money where his mouth is, Simon Cowell is reported to be setting up a contract with Boyle with his SyCo Music company label, a subsidiary of Sony Music.

With a talent like Boyle's, it doesn't (or shouldn't) matter what she looks like. She's the real deal. The entertainment world is chock full of pretty girls with only the barest modicum of singing talent, but a talent like Boyle's is a rarity and should be valued for the treasure it is.

Indeed, the outer packaging is of supreme importance for the dime-a-dozen bimbo singers, precisely because their talent is mediocre at best, and the flashy appearance is to make audiences forget their less than stellar vocal skills.

As far as I'm concerned, the singing world needs more Susan Boyles and fewer Ashlee Simpsons.

Name That Tune

I haven't done a Name That Tune entry in a long time, so here goes. Same rules apply: 5 points for correct song, 5 points for correct musician. Enjoy!

1. When I step out
I'm going to do you in

2. You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place

3. I was raised by a toothless, bearded hag,
I was schooled with a strap right across my back

4. If the real thing dont do the trick
You better make up something quick

5. Like a lazy flowing river
Surrounding castles in the sky

6. Did she make you cry
Make you break down
Shatter your illusions of love

7. You don't have to put on the red light
Those days are over
You don't have to sell you body to the night

8. It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.

9. Your hands build me up when I'm sinking
Just touch me and my troubles all fade

10. Don't sit cryin' over good things you've had,
There's a girl right next to you
And she's just waiting for something you do.

11. You're digging for gold, you're throwing away
A fortune in feelings, but someday you'll pay

12. And I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse

13. I was cutting the rug
Down at a place called The Jug
With a girl named Linda Lou

14. Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear

15. When lonely days turn to lonely nights
You take a trip to the city lights

16. You don't know what we can see
Why don't you tell your dreams to me
Fantasy will set you free

17. Maybe you'll get a replacement
There's plenty like me to be found

18. Ah so let her go don't start spoiling the show
It's a bad dream

19. You're still the one that makes me strong
Still the one I want to take along

20. They headed down to, ooh, old El Paso
That's where they ran into a great big hassle

21. See, don't ever set me free
I always wanna be by your side

22. I really must confess right here
The attraction was purely physical

23. Yeah, I'd like to hear some funky dixieland
And dance a honky tonk

24. And an old guitar is all he can afford
When he gets up under the lights to play his thing

25. And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance

Christmas Odds and Ends

Today, I thought I'd write a Christmas themed odds and ends entry.

For years, I thought that one of the lines in the Christmas song, "I'll Be Home For Christmas" was:

Christmas eve will find me
Where I long to be

The actual words are:

Christmas eve will find me
Where the love light gleams

I like my words better; they make more sense. What the fuck is a "love light", anyway. It sounds kind of erotic, which I'm sure wasn't the intent of the songwriter.

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In the instrumental version of "Sleigh Ride", there is a sound at the end that imitates the sound of a horse neighing. Has anyone ever wondered how that sound was produced? Well, wonder no more as I'm about to tell you.

I was a trumpet player in the high school band and when our band played that song, it was my job to produce that sound. I produced that sound by pressing the valve only halfway down and by using either a cup or a Harmon mute. Worked every time.

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In January of 1945, during the Battle of the Bulge, General Patton wrote a Christmas filk to the tune of "O Little Town of Bethlehem", in response to a German counterattack which destroyed the Belgian town of Houffalize:

O little town of Houffalize,
How still we see thee lie;
Above they steep and battered streets
The aeroplanes sail by.
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
Not any Goddamned light;
The hopes and fears of all thy years
Were blown to hell last night.

Earworms in Commercials

There are a few current commercials whose jingles have turned into earworms for me. That is, the tunes tend to replay endlessly in my head.

The first is a commercial for Sears' appliances. There's not much to the jingle, except them singing, "Well, all right!" and "Ooh Hoo" in an endless loop. Nevertheless, it's catchy and it's stuck in my head.

Another commercial is for K9 Advantix insect treatment for dogs. It has a dog singing a silly tune:

There ain't no bugs on me
There ain't no bugs on me
There may be bugs on some of you mugs
But there ain't no bugs on me

Yeah, there may be bugs on some of you mugs
But there ain't no bugs on me

It's silly, but I find myself singing the damn song sometimes when I'm driving down the road.

The last commercial is for The Money Store. I get a kick out of this commercial mainly for the visuals that go with the lyrics. One verse goes:

On title loans
The first month's free
And the repo man
Ain't gettin' your keys

During this part of the jingle, it shows a guy with messy hair wearing dirty clothes, shifting his bulging eyes back and forth, while he's sniffing and holding out his hand. I'd never do business with one of these places and the music is cheesy, so I guess it's the ridiculous looking repo man that makes the tune stick in my head.

Are there any commercials you like in spite of, or maybe because of, how stupid they are?

Memories in a Song

Going through the supermarket this evening, I heard an old song that brought back a memory from years ago that I'd not thought about in a long time. It was the old Fifth Dimension song, "Wedding Bell Blues" from 1969.

It's part of my memory because my son's mother used to sing this one to me all the time before we got married (such a subtle hint, hmm). She'd change Bill to Will when singing this song to me. I guess you could say it was "our song".

Reading the words now again after so many years, they still seem oddly appropriate, as the song spoke to my reluctance to marry.

Bill, I love you so, I always will
I look at you and see the passion eyes of May
Oh, but am I ever gonna see my wedding day
I was on your side Bill when you were losin'
I never scheme or lie Bill, there's been no foolin'
But kisses and love won't carry me till you marry me Bill

I love you so, I always will
And in your voice I hear a choir of carousels
Oh, but am I ever gonna hear my wedding bells
I was the one who came runnin' when you were lonely
I haven't lived one day not lovin' you only
But kisses and love won't carry me til you marry me Bill

I love you so, I always will
And though devotion rules my heart I take no bows
But Bill you're never gonna take those wedding vows
Oh, come on Bill
Oh, come on Bill
Come on and marry me Bill
I got the wedding bell blues
Please marry me Bill
I got the wedding bell blues
Marry me Bill

Feel free to name some of your songs with current or former partners in the comment box.

Wednesday Rants

Today, I have a grab-bag of rants, all heard on the radio.

The first is an increasingly common element I'm hearing on radio commercials. As an announcer speaks, one hears an amplified, steady bass drum beat in the background, sometimes alone and sometimes with a repeating loop of three notes or so from a guitar or wind instrument. The announcer talks at a fairly fast pace, and is nearly drowned out by the incessant, "WUMP, WUMP, WUMP, WUMP, WUMP, WUMP, WUMP, WUMP, WUMP, WUMP" in the background.

To me, there's nothing that says "cheesy, homemade commercial" quite like the "wump, wump" machine going in the background. One of the most recent offenders in this category I've heard in the last week is an ad for a local car dealership. This commercial has the ubiquitous yelling announcer along with the wumping bass drum, which combined together has all the necessary elements for classically tacky commercial. A second ad is one for a local gym, which has a similarly slick and sleazy effect. But the last one is an ad for Petco "Where the Pets Go". This commercial would have been an OK ad, except for the addition of the "wump, wump" effect. The only thing I can figure is that the "wump, wump" machine must be the latest ad agency gimmick.
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About a week ago, I heard a song that's been on my "Songs I Love to Hate" list since it was first released, nearly 30 years ago:

"You Can't Change That" by Ray Parker and Raydio

What I hate about this song is that the line, "You can't change that" is repeated 28 times during the course of the song. I know, because I counted.

After about the sixth, "you can't change that", I DO "change that"...the radio station, that is.
____________________________

Next, is my newest addition to the "Songs I Love to Hate" list:

"That's the Way It Is" by Celine Dion

Basically, this is a fairly unremarkable song; pretty much of a yawner. What grinds my gears about this song is her enunciation of the words, particularly the word "love"

One line is:

"So don't surrender 'cause you can win
In this thing called lo-o-o-o-ve"

The problem is that she sings the drawn-out "lo-o-o-o-o-ve" as "ler-her-herve"

"Ler-her-herve"? What in the fuck is "ler-her-herve"?!

The damned woman sounds like she doesn't know if she should sing or hock up a loogie!

As always, feel free to mention commercials or songs that you love to hate in the comment box.

Criticism of a Song

In the last couple of days, I've heard the same song twice, which was a song I'd never heard before. The lyrics both disturbed and pissed me off, hence this blog entry. The song is "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood, which is about a woman with a straying boyfriend:

Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey...

Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...

And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Right now, she's probably up singing some
white-trash version of Shania karaoke..
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo...
And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats...

Oh, you know it won't be on me!

No...not on me
'Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Oh.. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...

Ohh... before he cheats...

Damned straight it wouldn't be her he'd be straying from the next time if I were the man in this song. That psycho bitch's ass would be sitting in jail for vandalism; destruction of property.

This song was disturbing to me because it portrays violence as a normal, commendable expression of jealousy, Unlike raging anger (which this really is), which has generated methods to manage it, jealousy is shown as something that is uncontrollable that someone is perfectly justified in expressing in extreme ways as is shown in this song.

Columnist and broadcaster, Glenn Sacks criticized this song, saying that it is a prime example of the "double standard about domestic violence [that] manifests itself in ... popular culture".Sacks notes that a "song and a video approving of a violent, jealous man destroying his girlfriend's car" would likely receive dissimilar treatment, and undoubtedly draw widespread criticism.

I know it's just a song, but music reflects the culture that generates itself and this song doesn't say something good about ours.

Thoughts?

Spirit in the Sky

While listening to the radio the other night, a favorite song from years ago came on the radio: "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum. This song, heard in several movies over the years, such as Apollo 13, embodies what I consider to be the best of rock: a hard-driving bass line, a growling guitar, fun lyrics, innovative sound effects, and a beat that inspires energy in the listener. It is one of the finest examples of what I call "a song with muscle". And, after nearly 40 years, it still sounds fresh and exciting. It was included in Rolling Stones' 500 Greatest Songs of All Time and also VH1's Greatest One-Hit Wonders.

This song also brings back a personal memory for me as well. In the spring of 1970, when I wasn't quite 12 years old, my mother was hospitalized for several days. One rainy afternoon, my father and I went to the hospital to visit with her. In the car, while on the way to the hospital, this song came on the radio. I can remember turning it up and listening intently, accompanied by the slap, slap sound of the windshield wipers keeping time with the beat.

When my mother died 18 months later, I was reminded of that afternoon, and the words provided some comfort to me then. I don't always relive the memory of that afternoon when I hear the song now, but it's never entirely forgotten, either. Either way, this song will always remain on my list of all-time favorite songs.

Musical Urban Legend

While listening to the radio the other night, "Fortunate Son" by Creedence Clearwater Revival came on:

Some folks are born made to wave the flag,
Ooh, they're red, white and blue.
And when the band plays hail to the chief,
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, lord,

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no senators son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no,

Yeah!
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, don't they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes,

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaires son, no.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no.

Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war, lord,
And when you ask them, how much should we give?
Ooh, they only answer more! more! more! yo,

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no military son, son.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no fortunate one, one.

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one, no no no,
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate son, no no no,

As I listened to this familiar tune from the late 60s, which implies a young man who evaded service in Vietnam because of his father's influence, I was reminded of a persistent Urban Legend associated with this song. Since Al Gore's rise to national prominence, the rumor going around has been that Gore, a Senator's son at the time this song was written, was the inspiration for songwriter John Fogerty to write this song. I can't say for sure, but I'd guess that the rumor was started by Republicans.

Indeed, George W. Bush was also a Senator's son at the time this song was released and the words fit him just as well, if not better.

In reality, however, neither man inspired Fogerty to write the song. The true inspiration was David Eisenhower, a President's grandson who ended up marrying one of Richard Nixon's daughters and who served three years in the Navy during the Vietnam years, yet never saw any action.

Memories in Christmas Music

Tonight, I was listening to Christmas music while riding around in the car. My mind always wanders back to Christmases past when listening to it and tonight was no different. It is at this time of year I miss my parents and having a close family the most. If it were up to me, I'd spend every Christmas in 1970, as that was the last one when I had both parents and siblings nearby.

Certain Christmas songs bring back particular memories of people or events. Below, is an incomplete list of songs and some memories associated with them.

O Come, All Ye Faithful (Adeste Fideles)

This one reminds me of my mother, as I remember her telling me of how she'd been chosen to sing that song in Latin when she'd been in the choir in school as a kid.

Little Drummer Boy

This one reminds me of my best friend when I lived in Massachusetts. He and I used to sing the "rum pa pum pum" part as "rub your bum bum" while simultaneously rubbing our asses. You have to remember we were only about seven years old at the time. He later died in a car crash in 1980, just shy of being 22.

Charlie Brown Christmas Theme

This reminds me of my high school best friend and his family. The laid back, mellow jazz sound of this song just kind of fits how it felt being around their family.

Silver Bells

This one reminds me of going to center city Philadelphia to see the Christmas lights in the late sixties and of seeing the Salvation Army Band out on the street playing Christmas carols on trumpets and trombones. Nowadays, they only have people out ringing bells at Christmas, which makes me miss the band.

Let It Snow

When I was in the high school band, we did a medley of Christmas songs as part of our marching routine. I remember the band director getting put out at this one girl who kept pushing her hair back every time the wind blew it out of place. He finally sang, "Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow", to the tune of Let It Snow.

Over the River and Through the Woods

This reminds me of spending Christmas with my grandmother's sister as a little kid. At that time, I lived far from my one remaining grandmother and she was the closest thing to a grandmother I had at the time.

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree
Jingle Bell Rock

Both these songs remind me of the Christmas parties my parents had when I was a kid in the sixties. Jingle Bell Rock also reminds me of this girl who sang it in a purposely off key voice at work about five years ago and made everyone laugh.

Jingle Bells

At around ten years old, I'd sing this as:

Riding down the road
In a cracked-up Chevrolet
O'er the roads we go
Traffic all the way
Horns on cars honk
Making traffic slow
Oh what fun it is to sing
This traffic song tonight

Oh, Jingle Bells
Santa smells
A million miles away
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a cracked-up Chevrolet!

There are more, but these are the first that came to mind. What memories do certain Christmas songs evoke in you?

Jazz Great Maynard Ferguson Dies

While browsing the net on Saturday, I came upon the obituary of jazz trumpeter Maynard Ferguson. He died this past Wednesday from kidney and liver failure at the age of 78.

Having played with some of the great big-band leaders of the 1940s including Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Dizzy Gillespie, Charlie Barnett, Jimmy Dorsey and Stan Kenton, Ferguson later struck out on his own, his career extending to just before his brief final illness. He was, perhaps, most well known to the general public for his version of "Gonna Fly Now" from the first Rocky film. This earned him a gold album and a Grammy nomination in 1978 and it became a top 10 hit.

As a high school trumpet player in the mid-70s, Ferguson was my musical idol. His phenomenal range and uncanny ability to clearly play the highest notes of the instrument were, in large part, the inspiration for me choosing to major in music in college.

I had the pleasure of meeting Maynard Ferguson in 1975, when I attended a concert he gave at a local high school. His encouraging words to our group of high school musicians after the concert further spurred my determination to further my musical education.

One fan, after hearing of Ferguson's death said that Gabriel will now have to play second trumpet in heaven.

That pretty well sums it up for me.

More Songs I Love To Hate

I've written before of music and musicians I love to hate. I've mentioned how Mariah Carey and Minnie Riperton both sound as if they've got their feet caught in a bear trap while they're singing and of how Cher sounds like she's in pain, yelling out her songs.

I've got two new songs that have earned their way into my "Songs I Love to Hate" hall of fame:

"A Moment Like This" by Kelly Clarkson

She makes this odd, grunty sound several times while singing this song. It sounds as if she was sitting on a toilet trying to relieve some major constipation while recording this song. Ugh.

"Man! I Feel Like a Woman" by Shania Twain

First thing about this song -- a totally moronic title. What else would a woman feel like? A tree? And how would she know what being a man feels like in comparison?

Aside from the idiot lyrics of this song, Shania makes this weird yipping sound several times in the song. Hmm, does feeling like a woman have any similarity to feeling like a dog to her??

Odds and Ends 13

Have you ever heard a man or a woman say, "WE'RE pregnant"? I heard this on the radio the other night, and that sort of thing just makes me grind my teeth.

No, WE are not pregnant. SHE is pregnant and though he made her pregnant, he is most definitely not pregnant! His belly won't expand, his ankles won't swell, he won't end up waddling in the last couple of weeks, and most, importantly, he will not experience labor or giving birth. It's all on her.

I realize this isn't meant literally, but rather, it's a gooey appeal to togetherness, to emphasize the coming parenthood for both.

No thanks. Don't mind me, but I'd rather just say, "I'm going to be a Dad", and leave it at that.

Next thing you know after a man says "We're pregnant", he'll be wearing matching Winnie the Pooh sweatshirts with his wife/female partner.

Ugh. I think I'm going to be sick now.
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While listening to the radio the other day, a song came on where it was very obvious whenever the singer took a breath. The loud sucking sound every few bars completely distracted me from listening to the words of the song. I wanted to hear the sound of music, not the sound of a 4 pack a day smoker at the end of a 10k hike!

It made me wonder why when the song was mixed prior to release, why these loud inhalations were simply not erased from the track. Surely, it is possible to do that?
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I have two small scars on my head, both near my eyes, one above and eye and one under the other one.

The first I acquired when I was about three, when one of our family's roosters jumped on top of my head and tried to pluck my eye out, which the rooster perceived as simply a shiny object. My uncle grabbed the rooster and wrung its neck and we ended up eating chicken that night.

After more than forty years, this scar is hard to see and you'd likely not notice it unless I pointed it out.

The other scar I got back in the 80s. A prisoner being booked had broken away from the jailer and ran out the door -- smack dab into me. I ended up getting into a fight with this guy, who was hopped up on drugs. He sucker punched me, knocking me flat on my ass. I jumped up and eventually gained the upper hand and got him back to the jail, but I carry a small scar above my left eye from this fight.
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I've noticed that internet computer usage has inspired some rather tortured word constructions, and not all from individual users. My internet provider is Earthlink and I prefer to use the Web Mail feature to check my email.

Sometimes, when I click onto the mail link, I get this message "Due to inactivity, your session has expired. Please re-login."

Re-login???? What the hell kind of a word is that? It's awkward, it's clumsy, and it's pretentious.

Why not have the message say, "Please log in again"?

Love Someone Tonight

I have a dirty confession to make. It's one I'm rather ashamed of.

While in the car delivering pizzas, I've found myself listening to the Radio Delilah show. I happened across her show, while turning the dial one night looking for something to listen to. In my area, the choice is mainly country or rap. The rock station I normally listen to had been playing less and less of the classic rock I like, so I was hunting for an alternative. The station that hosts Delilah plays a lot of 70s music, so that's how I found her.

I dislike about 80 percent of the music she plays, but I find myself listening, many times in disbelief, to her talking to callers in between songs. She's like a train wreck -- I'm often appalled by what she says, but I can't help but listen.

Most of what she says to callers about love and relationships is perfectly tame and unremarkable. People call in and tell their relationship stories, usually wanting to dedicate a song to someone. All well and good.

But there's a strong current of judgmentalism on her show, stemming from her religious fundamentalism. The other night, she was talking to this mother of two children who wanted to dedicate a song to her "boyfriend". Delilah jumped on the word "boyfriend" immediately, saying, "What's wrong with this picture?", wanting to know why they weren't married.

The caller went on to praise this man as a kind and considerate mate, a good father, etc. In other words, there WASN'T anything "wrong" with that picture.

Many times, I've heard Delilah berate women who are not legally married to their children's fathers. Who is she to decide what's right for everyone, especially considering she's been divorced two times herself? Yet, she continues to insist that marriage must be a "lifelong commitment" to someone you will "spend the rest of your life with", and that it should be the goal of every romantic relationship.

She also refuses to play dedications for those who are in nonmongamous relationships, chastising anyone bold enough to call and ask. Nor have I ever heard her play a dedication for someone involved in a same-sex relationship of any kind.

Her slogan is "Love Someone Tonight". She just doesn't mention that those who desire anything other than lifelong, legal, heterosexual, monogamous marriage need not apply.

I've been strongly tempted to call in to her show one night, tell her all about MY sex life, ask to dedicate a song to several lovers, then wait for her to start sputtering in indignation. I get a lot of perverse pleasure just thinking about doing this.

Thoughts?

Songs I Love to Hate

Over the last few months, I’ve seen variations of the “Name That Tune” game on various blogs, including my own.

Today, I thought I’d do something different. We all have songs we love to hate, songs that make us nearly rip the dial off the radio in our haste to change the station.

“Raindrops Keep Falling on Head” by BJ Thomas and “Sunshine on My Shoulders” by John Denver were two songs I especially hated as a kid because they were sappy and gooey. Most of what John Denver did was pretty sappy, but this one had to be the worst.

When I first began college in the fall of 1976, radio stations were constantly playing Elton John’s “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”. I normally like Elton John’s music, but for some reason, this song just rubbed me the wrong way, and I’d change the station every time it came on. Oddly enough, I kind of like this song now, but that’s probably because it reminds me of a particularly happy time in my life.

Of course, there were songs I hated then that I hate just as much now. A prime example would be Minnie Riperton’s “Loving You”, in which she makes a sound like a wounded animal with its leg caught in a trap in the middle of the song. That noise goes through my head like a nail.

Another song I’ve always despised is Jimmy Buffet’s “Margaritaville”, mainly because of the inane lyrics.

“Stepped on a pop tart, blew out my flip flop”

How more moronic can you get?

“Shout” by the Isley Brothers (I think) makes me want to tear my hair out. For one thing, it’s too long and boring. When I hear it, I change the lyrics in my head to:

“You make me want to BARF, throw my guts up and BARF, kick the bucket and BARF….”

In the 90s, when I was still on the police force, “Achy, Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus was quite popular, which I instantly hated. For one thing, it was country, which I don’t like for the most part. And it was sappy. And the combination of country and sappy only made it ten times worse.

More recently, I’ve been listening to the radio more as I make my pizza deliveries. One song (why is it that the godawful songs get the most airtime?) that comes on a lot is REO Speedwagon’s “Take It On the Run”. The beginning lyrics make me want to tear the radio out of the dashboard and throw it out the window:

“I heard it from a friend whooooo
Heard it from a friend whooooo
Heard it from another you been messin’ around”

My sap runneth over.

Let’s hear some of the songs you love to hate.